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Instead of dividing things she took it all. Child support was set at three times what we had agreed on and twice more than I could pay and then the courts gave her the right to use the kids as income tax deductions even though I was paying more than two thirds of their support. And then, to add insult to injury the fucking lawyer managed to get the court to order me to pay his fees. Within three years the kids were begging me to let them come live with me, but the courts wouldn't allow it because once again the system was loaded against men. Even though the kids ran away from home four times I still could not get them. Fights over the kids and treachery during the divorce poisoned what had started out as an amiable split.Next on my hit parade of bad choices was Susanne. By the time I met her I had made up my mind to never ever get married again. I also made a vow to have no more kids and I had a vasectomy to insure that it wouldn't happen again. Susanne and I lived together for five. Everyone liked her, but she didn’t believe that any man could ever really love her, because she was a freak. Well, she was wrong. * * * * * The library is a quiet place where she can meet people on her own terms, where her competence shows through, and where she can help people. Any library is holy to me, even a small one in a liberal arts college up in the hills. It was an auspicious place for us to meet, on my third day on campus, my office just set up. I was jumping into research as part of the plan to start anew. The need for a reference librarian would give me a chance to learn something more about my new home and to talk with someone. The department was pretty vacant, it being summer, and there was no one in my empty apartment. She was efficient, but also warm and friendly, and I saw immediately the things she did to take attention off her hands — wearing long, loose sleeves, holding her left arm a little behind her, keeping her right hand partly closed. I had written a book.
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